he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
