i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
