i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
