Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
