You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He uses pillows to masturbate.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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