after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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