you win again, gameday.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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