just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
