soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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