windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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