Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
