I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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