So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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