'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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