Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
