The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
