Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
