just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
