my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
