So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
