Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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