Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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