how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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