i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize