I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Brb crying the tears of my youth
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
