Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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