Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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