How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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