I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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