I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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