Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
