We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
