Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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