Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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