Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
