Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize