Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
