i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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