No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
