are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
