thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
