Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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