so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
