She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
