You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
