People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
