he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
