I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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