No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
