My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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