I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
