As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
