i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
