Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
