i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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