This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You pole danced in your parka.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
