I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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