I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
